Never Say Love Read online

  “Left her! You can’t leave her, she’s pissed!” Benito snapped back. Once he had the glass he’d asked for and after looking horrified at Mikey, he took the stairs two at a time marching to the first floor, heading first to the room he’d left Lucy in last night. Pushing the door open slightly, he glanced inside—she wasn’t there. The bed was a mess, the duvet scrunched up against the wall, pillows in disarray and Lucy’s dress, the one she had on last night, thrown in the middle of the room. Walking in, he placed the bottle of Coke, pack of crisps, paracetamol and glass on the bedside cabinet then left, returning to the landing.

  Unsure of the layout of the house, he walked across the landing, glancing in each room as he went. Pushing another door open slightly, shit a baby! Urgh! He walked past that room quickly. The next door, a double bed, Lisa and Michael’s room, then another child’s room, toys littered all over the floor, God, he couldn’t stand that mess! Finally, the last door; must be the bathroom.

  Standing on the landing side of the bathroom door, he heard moaning from inside. Lucy cursing herself and cursing him “The bastard,” he heard her mutter.

  Pushing the door slightly open, he was greeted with Lucy, lying outstretched on the floor, looking so very pale, her beautiful hair a complete mess. Shaking his head, yet smiling slightly, he pushed the door open further, looking at her as she lay stretched out on the floor dressed only in her bra and knickers, his beautiful Lucy, his girl.

  He sighed as he took in the sight. Lying on her side, she looked dreadful, wrecked and in no state to be here, half dressed and on her own.

  Standing for a moment, he watched her. She was unaware that he was there, watching and listening to her as she groaned.

  “Lucy,” he said quietly, taking a few steps towards her.

  Turning her head very slightly, she struggled to focus on Benito. “Piss off you fucking bastard,” she hissed, her voice hoarse, before quickly she turned, hunching herself over the loo and heaving again.

  “Oh, Lucy, tesoro, I am so sorry,” Benito moved towards her, crouching down and placing his arm on her back.

  “Don’t you dare touch me!” She snapped, sitting up slightly and moving away from him. “You don’t want me. All you want is a quick lay! Well, not with me buster, never again, I can’t believe how stupid I was.” She groaned again before returning her head to the loo, retching.

  Staying with her, Benito moved and held her hair away from her face, just like he’d done last night, rubbing her back, comforting her.

  “Tesoro, what a state you have got yourself in!” He whispered, pulling her closer towards him, her slender frame tucked against his stomach.

  Lucy flushed the toilet and swivelled around on her knees, resting her hand on Benito’s broad chest. “Shit, I feel ill,” she whimpered.

  Pulling her close, he kissed the top of her head, “Come on baby, I’ve the perfect cure.”

  Helping her stand, he held her as they walked together back to her room. “Sit there, I’ll do my best to make this better.”

  Handing her a glass of the flat Coke, he sat next to her, “Drink, it’s great for hangovers, or at least it should be. If you can keep that down, you can have some crisps, get some salt into you.”

  “I can’t,” she looked at the glass.

  “Drink, please.” He nodded towards her.

  Taking the glass from him, she brushed his fingers, and closed her eyes as she felt tears well. “You hurt me,” she whispered, “You really, really hurt me. I can’t take rejection, I really can’t. I’ve been rejected before because I wouldn’t put out for other men. But what really hurt was hearing you saying that I was a quick shag.” Turning towards him, she looked at him through her tears, “I really thought you were something special, I know it was only a few weeks, but…” she wiped her face, letting the tears fall, starting to sob, “what hurts the most was being so close, so close to you, letting you take, letting you…” Unable to prevent the tears from falling, she put the glass back on the table, her head in her hand and sobbed.

  As if controlled by the higher force, the force that had pulled them together, Benito sat beside her, putting his arm around her he started to feel out of his depth, having never had a steady girlfriend, never having had a friendship with a girl that had lasted for more than a day or two he’d never had to deal with tears. “I'm sorry Lucy, sorry that you overheard me on the phone. I didn't mean for you to hear, and I really didn't want it to end, not yet anyway. What you heard wasn’t really what I meant anyway.”

  She looked at him, her eyes blood shot and her skin pasty and blotchy. "But I did hear, and I'm not a quick shag, you know that. In fact, before I met you I wasn't even up for any kind of shagging, sex, bonking, call it whatever you want." She reached for her flat Coke as Benito just watched, humbled in her presence, feeling like the shit he was for hurting this beautiful girl, his Lucy.

  "I've never had a girlfriend before," he mumbled, "never had anyone that's lasted more than a couple of days, ever."

  Lucy turned away, reaching for the crisps he'd brought in for her, "So why is this different? Why am I not the quick shag that you told whoever?"

  Thinking before he answered, carefully considering his words before he spoke, “Because I like you Lucy. You’re special, very special, that’s why you are more than just a quickie. You shouldn’t have heard what I said, I never intended for you to hear, and I certainly never wanted this.” Sitting beside her on the edge of the single bed, he leaned forward, his head in his hands. “I never wanted any of this, I thought… well I don’t know what I thought, but never that it would be over this soon. Please, come back with me, I miss you already. Please come back to work, tomorrow.”

  Holding her aching head, she too looked at the floor. “No, I can’t. I’ve got nowhere to live. I haven’t got a job.” She snapped, “You’ve ruined it all, everything.” Wiping the tears from her face, she shook her head. “You need to go Benito. This can’t move forward, it’s ruined.”

  Not moving, just looking down, his head still in his hand he shook his head, “Why? Why can’t you understand what I’m saying? I don’t want it to end, it shouldn’t have ended. Lucy, we were good together. Yes, not for long, but we were good. Tesoro, please come home with me. Let me make it up to you, please.” He found himself begging.

  Raising her head, facing him directly she shook her head, “No,”

  “Is there nothing I can do to help you change your mind?”

  “No, please go. Please leave me, let me be.”

  Standing slowly he looked down on her, “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, please just leave me.”

  Moving towards the door, holding the handle, he turned back towards her, “You know where I am, if you change your mind. There will never be anyone else, not like you, ever.” He whispered.

  She huffed, “Whatever, just go.”

  Benito left the room and pulled the door closed, standing with this back against the wall, pushing his head back. Breathing deeply, he just stood there, taking a moment to gather his thoughts. As he stepped forward, he heard sobbing coming from Lucy’s room. What should he do? Thinking on his feet, he turned and flung the door open. There, lying on her stomach, Lucy lay flat out, her face buried in her pillow, sobbing.

  “Tesoro!” Benito walked to the edge of the bed, bending down beside her, his hand on her back. “Oh, baby, please don’t cry. Please…”

  Rolling over and sitting up, Lucy flung her arms around Benito’s neck, “I love you.” She blurted out, her face wet with tears against his check, “I love you,” she sobbed.

  “Baby, please don’t cry,” he held her tightly. “Don’t cry.” Staying with her held close, Benito was unaware of Michael in the doorway, watching them. Turning towards Lucy’s brother, he frowned whilst extracting himself from Lucy’s hold and walking towards him.

  “Can I talk to you?” Benito asked.

  “Sure, downstairs, I’ve just made some coffee.”

  In the kitchen, M
ichael poured Benito a coffee from a cafetière, offering sugar and milk, which he declined. The coffee was good, better than the instant crap he’d had earlier.

  Pulling one of the chairs out from the kitchen table, Benito sat down, “I want her to come home with me. Do you have any objection if she says she will?”

  Michael studied the big Italian, sat back in one of the kitchen chairs, his long legs stretched out in front of him. “You hurt her. You know that, don’t you?”

  “Not intentionally. She overheard a conversation, well part of it. She shouldn’t have heard any of it. If she had heard the lot, she probably wouldn’t have gone, wouldn’t have walked out. I would never hurt her, you know that?” Benito looked towards Michael, a questioning look upon his face, Michael answered with a nod, before Benito continued, “She’s special, very special.” He picked up his coffee and looked at Michael watching him. Studying the older sibling, he determined that he must be a salesman, he had to be, or a marketing guru. He imagined him being weak in confrontation.

  The protective brother smiled, “She is special, but I think you’re genuine. You are—aren’t you?” He asked, leaning against the kitchen counter.

  “Very, and I promise I’ll look after her and if we do… you know, ever part company, it will be because we’ve both agreed.” Benito said, sounding sincere.

  Michael picked his coffee up and joined Benito at the small round table, “What line of work are you in?” He asked, relaxed in the company of his sisters new friend.

  Looking down at his coffee, spinning the cup around, Benito answered. “Security, my father and I own a security business.”

  “Alarms?” Michael pressed, wanting to know all about the man who was hoping to take his, this relationship, or whatever it was with his sister further.

  “No, nothing like that.” Benito laughed, shaking his head. “We contract to some of the larger businesses in Italy. I’m here in the UK to expand the UK operation. We’ve tendered and won contracts at some of the larger players here in London and a few clubs, Henry’s is one, the place where we were last night; we do their security for them. I have several guys in there and then we do some more, well private and personal work.”

  “Private?” Michael questions.

  “Yeah, celebrities, that sort of thing.” Benito said flippantly, as if working with celebrities was just a run of the mill sort of job.

  “Celebrities? That must pay well?” Michael pushed for further information, wanting, quite rightly, to know more about the man he was potentially going to hand his sister over to.

  “Yeah,” he sighed, wishing the guy would just shut up about him and focus on getting Lucy back on side, he wanted her desperately.

  Reaching for the tin of Café Crème from his jacket pocket, he flicked the thin tin open and took out a small cigar, holding it between his lips. Searching around in his pockets for matches, “Shit, no light, can I use your hob again?” He stood, turning towards the kitchen.

  “Sure,” Michael smiled, nodding towards the tin, still in Benito’s hand. “Have you got a spare one of those?”

  Outside, both men stood in the garden, leaning against the wall, each with a small cigar, Michael fearful that his wife would return and be able to smell the tobacco smoke and know that he’d started smoking again, although he had no intention of actually doing that, this was just a one off!

  They stood in silence, both relaxed, both men with their shoulders against the wall, Benito’s one knee bent, his foot placed firmly against the brick. “Look Michael,” he said, looking straight ahead, keeping his focus along the length of the garden, “I know you want to look out for your kid sister—I have a younger sister. So I’ll be straight with.” He said firmly.

  Michael answered with an “Hmm, carry on…”

  “I’ve got money, plenty of it, all earned honestly through my father’s business. He started the company years ago, for as long as I can remember, it’s all he did. I look after the people around me, my family, close friends and the people that work for me. Without any of them, well things wouldn’t be as they are, would they? I have to look out for the people that look after me. You understand? She will want for nothing. She can move in with me—I rattle around in that apartment on my own, she can have her own room if she wants; but I promise you, as one older brother to another, I will look after her. You have my assurance.”

  Michael drew in his smoke before taking it from his lips and staring at the cigar, hell Lisa would be killing him when she got home for smoking again. The two men continued their standing in silence, the mid-day sunshine starting to heat their skins as they leant against the wall of the house.

  “It’s not up to me mate, if she wants to come back with you,” Michael said, not turning to Benito, simply looking out over the garden. “If she’s happy, then I’m happy and I’ll support her, I’ll support you both, but only if she wants to.”

  Benito smiled, squeezed the end of his half-smoked cigar out and turned to walk back into the house. “Why did you ever smoke these things?” He held what remained of his Cafe Crème towards Michael.

  “Dunno, liked them at the time, and then gave up,” he shrugged, “Anyway, if you don’t like them, why have you still got them this morning?”

  “Because last night and first thing this morning they were needed, anyway I had given up. You shouldn’t have let me have them last night.” Benito frowned.

  Michael shook his head, “Go and get my sister. Talk to her and, if she wants to, take her home. Please don’t upset her and don’t hurt her again. She comes across as being hard on the outside, as knowing her own mind and maybe a bit stubborn, but inside she’s as soft as they come, she’d break easily, very easily.”

  Benito nodded and returned to Lucy’s room finding her half dressed in jogging bottoms and a t-shirt, looking down at her bed, trying her best to tidy the mess that she had created.

  Turning as he pushed the door open. she was faced with the handsome creature that had hurt her so badly, looking at him, her eyes appeared empty of all emotion, she shook her head. “You’ve been talking to Michael, I heard you.”

  Benito looked towards her open bedroom window and realised he and Michael must have been below it when they were talking, she would have heard everything. “You eavesdropped?” He smiled, that killer smile, making her wilt, making the urge to go back with him stronger, yet deep down she knew she shouldn’t, she should say “goodbye” now, before she allowed herself to be hurt any more.

  “No!” she snapped, “I heard what you were saying and what Mikey was saying.” She muttered as she tidied the room, pulling the duvet straight and then folding her clothes.

  “So will you come back with me, please?” He asked. He’d never begged for anything in his life before, let alone a woman to come home with him. He was maturing!

  She stopped folding and looked at him. “You’re my first ever, proper, you know that and I don’t expect this…” she flapped her hands between the two of them, “that this should last a lifetime, it would be too surreal, too good. If we’re going to be bed partners, girlfriend and boyfriend, whatever you Italian’s choose to call yourselves, I do expect it to last just a little longer and I really don’t want to be thought of as a quick shag. I’m not an easy lay, you know that and I don’t want to have the reputation as being one either!”

  “I know you’re not!” He snapped, “And I have said I’m sorry, you should never have heard me talking! You only heard the end. If you had been there from the beginning, you would have heard the whole conversation. You just took it out of context.” Moving around the room, looking impatient, he shoved his hand in the pockets of his leather jacket, “So are you going to come and stay with me?”

  Lucy carried on with the folding, “I still feel like crap, really crap, But that helped,” she pointed at the flat cola and empty pack of crisps, “Where did you learn that one?”

  “Experience. Are you coming with me?” He pressed.

  Thinking carefully,
she threw the last of the folded clothes on top of the pile on her bed, turning away from him she sighed deeply. He was gorgeous, no scrub that he was stunning, better than anything she could ever have hoped for in the past, and yes, she believed she loved him, had loved him, but now… he’d hurt her, and badly at that. The confident and rational side of her told her to stay away, to leave well alone, yet her heart was telling her to go with him.

  Thinking carefully for a few moments, she turned towards him.

  “I’m sorry, I can’t. I can’t allow myself to be hurt again. I’ve learned the hard way, haven’t I?” Looking down at the floor, away from him, she felt a stray tear pass over her cheek, followed by another.

  Stunned by rejection, Benito stared into the room, at his girl, who he’d hurt, unintentionally, but none the less, he’d hurt her. “Lucy, please… please come with me,” he found himself pleading, something he’d never done in his life before, ever.

  Turning towards him, her eyes brimming with tears, she shook her head, “No, I’m sorry, I can’t.” She spoke softly, continuing to shake her head whilst fighting back the urge to drop to the floor and sob, the heartbreak feeling stronger as she looked at him, his shoulders hunched, the desperation in his face, the longing very clear. “I can’t Benito,” she whispered.

  Not knowing what to say he just stood there. This was one of those situations that he couldn’t handle, something that could not be fixed by sending in one of his heavies. Shit, he needed some help. How do you convince a woman, this woman, that beautiful girl, his Lucy, that she needed to come home with him? In short, he couldn’t, he didn’t have the skills or the knowledge to do it. He didn’t know what to say!

  Struggling to deal with this the best way he could, he stood upright leaning against the door frame, his face hardening slightly, taking on a boardroom posture as if ready for a battle of words. “And this is what you want?” he asked firmly, “you are sure?”

  Lucy breathed deeply before raising her tear filled eyes towards him. “No, it’s not what I want at all, but I can’t allow myself to be hurt again. I’m so sorry Benito, please go.” Her voice wavered as she continued to fight back the deluge of tears, the sobs that tried in vain to make their break for freedom.