Never Say Love Read online

  “Can we talk about it once we’ve got her home? I really don’t want her throwing up in my car. James, you’re sure you are okay to drive?” Benito looked towards his friend.

  “Sure. Where am I driving to?” James said, his hands poised on the leather wheel, trying to remain detached from the conversation.

  Once they were all settled in the Range Rover and belted in, Lisa told James where he needed to go, looking back at her sister-in-law as the car sped through the quiet London streets out into the suburbs and Lisa’s home.

  “So she’s staying with you?” Benito asked, Lucy’s head back at his shoulder.

  “She is, lost her room, or gave it up, I think. She’s been to her mum and dad’s. They are okay but Lucy and her mum grate on each other so she’s with us for a few days. The poor love needs to find herself another job. Derek, her dad, works for a logistics company, and I think there’s a job for a dispatcher that he’s going to see if he can sort for her.” Lisa’s tone was matter of fact. She was hoping that Benito take on board exactly the situation he’d left Lucy in following their split —whatever the reason was; whoever called an end to it.

  Looking out of the window, Lisa flapped her hand. “We’re here, just by the lamp post.” Turning towards James, she pointed at her house, all the lights on. Mikey was in the window, the curtains pulled back slightly, waiting for the arrival of his wife and drunken sister.

  Pulling up outside, James parked the Range Rover and opened his door. At the same time, Mikey appeared on the doorstep of his home. Benito, having walked around to the other side of the car, was carefully lifting the still unconscious Lucy out and carrying her towards her brother’s home.

  “What the fuck happened?” Michael asked, a look of concern on his face as he studied his little sister draped across this big man’s arms, her head on his shoulder.

  “Too much to drink,” Lisa snapped at her husband, “and him!” she nodded her head towards Benito before glaring at him, “he’s the one!”

  “What?” Michael looked at his wife, a confused look on his face. “What are you on about Lisa, are you pissed as well?”

  “No, stupid! He’s the one that dumped her!” She walked straight past her husband and through the front door leaving the two big guys, her husband and Lucy outside.

  Looking up at the huge Benito, Michael studied his face, there was no way he was going to have a go at this guy, he was just too big. He couldn’t do anything. He’d used the gentlemanly approach.

  Offering his hand to James, “Michael,” he said, “thanks for bringing her home.” He rolled his eyes as he looked at Lucy. She looked pale, her skin blotchy from too much alcohol.

  James nodded and accepted the proffered hand, shaking firmly. “No worries, there’s no way they could have walked, and I doubt any cab would have taken her, not in that condition.”

  “What happened? She’s been distraught,” Michael looked at Benito, “you’d better bring her in.”

  “She got pissed.” Benito’s voice was monotone.

  “No, before that, between you two? I spoke to her last week, and she sounded so happy; said she’d got a new job, away from that creep, and she was staying in some fancy apartment.” Mikey led the way into his home as Benito and James followed, chatting as they went. “She said she was going to get herself a new place.” Pausing, he rubbed his hand over his forehead, “Then she turns up at mum and dad’s saying she’s homeless and doesn’t have a job.”

  Benito shook his head, “Look, can we get her inside? Then I’ll come back tomorrow, and we can talk about this. I want to talk to Lucy. This is all a misunderstanding, and like I told your wife, I didn’t dump her—she walked out on me!” He hissed.

  Following Michael into the suburban home, Benito carried Lucy upstairs to the guest room where he found Lisa pulling Lucy’s duvet back. Placing his girl gently down, he stepped back out of the room leaving the sister-in-law to sort her out. “She needs to be woken and made to drink a pint or two of water, and don’t leave her, please.” He instructed as he left.

  “I know what to do!” Lisa snapped, glaring at the man who had, as far as she was concerned, caused all of this bother.

  “Well, just keep an eye on her, make sure she… just make sure she’s okay, please,” he frowned at Lisa as he left the room, looking briefly again at his Lucy as she lay in bed, tucked up on her side. He desperately wanted her sister-in-law to leave so that he could take care of his girl. As far as he was concerned, Lucy was part of his family now and therefore he should be looking after her. Hell, if Franco was here, he would be chanting the family motto, banging on about “looking after our own in this family!”

  Despite the outward look of concern on his face, inside he was cringing, battling with the feelings. He longed to protect her and worship her. But, commitment? He had to get his head around this. He couldn’t play the field forever, and he really liked Lucy. He liked her a lot. Added to that, she’d never been with anyone else, ever. He’d claimed her, she was his. Heaven help him if his father knew that she was an innocent before she had met him. Franco would be forcing him down the aisle. That would never happen—ever!

  Finding his way downstairs, he wandered into the living room where he found James and Michael sitting on the sofa waiting.

  “So what happened?” Michael looked at Benito, “Between you and my sister. I’ve never, ever seen her like this before! I’ve seen her drunk, but never paralytic, like this. I’m contemplating taking her to hospital! God, she’s wasted!” A concerned look crossed his face as he shook his head, sitting back in an easy chair he looked at Benito. “What happened mate?”

  Sighing deeply, Benito stood, hands in pockets. “I need a smoke. Do you smoke?” he asked Michael.

  Smiling Michael stood, “I used to, got nagged to give it up. I’ve got a tin of Café Crème somewhere, any good?”

  “Anything, I just need a smoke.” Soon after the trouble back home, when he’d seen to that bastard who had violated his sister, he’d started smoking anything. Anything he could get his hands on, illegal or otherwise, but, through intensive counselling, had given it up. The urge now too strong to mentor himself out of, he needed a quick fix and a legal cigarette, or a small cigar, as Michael had offered, was preferable to finding someone on the street to provide him with what he really needed.

  Michael left in search of the small cigars leaving James and Benito in his living room—Benito was standing, leaning against the wall looking worried and agitated, as James sat forward on the sofa.

  “What happened mate? What really happened?” James looked towards his friend.

  Gazing around the room, Benito refused to engage in discussion with his James, he was not going to talk about it. His thoughts refusing to budge, concentrating on his Lucy upstairs, about her laying there, out of it, wrecked and vulnerable—that it was his fault.

  Yes, he hadn’t planned on this being a long-term relationship; he’d never planned on having a life-long partner, never doing the commitment thing, not like his father. Now that he’d met Lucy, he had fallen under her spell. He wanted her around longer. Plus, the fact that Franco had read the riot act to him, told him that he needed to settle down, find a girl to spend his life with, and nobody, not even Benito, messed around with Franco. Hell, he’d started to learn that lesson years ago when Franco had first taken his belt to his twelve-year old son—all he had done was knock and run on one of the old lady’s' doors in the village, one of the women that was always telling him off for some minor misdemeanour!

  Staring at the hideous brick fireplace in the living room of Michael and Lisa’s home, Benito remained quiet waiting for Lucy’s brother to return with something to smoke, anything to calm his nerves.

  “What are you going to do?” James pressed. “So you don’t want to talk about it. I get it, but sometime soon you’re going to have to.” James stood and wandered to the window at the back of the room looking out into the back garden, lit by just a few dim lights. “Benito,
if you like her you need to sort it.”

  “Fuck off James, leave me alone.” Benito snapped, his tone harsh, his hands screwed tightly together, his knuckles white.

  Turning towards his friend, James shook his head. “Get your smokes and let’s go. You can call her tomorrow.”

  James returned to looking out at the back garden. It looked neat, from what he could see of it in the shadows. A child’s swing and slide stood in the middle of the lawn area, suckers James thought. No way would he swap his life, a different girl every night if he wanted, for this. Is that what Benito was thinking of? Had he been bitten by the bug, the commitment bug?

  “Here you go,” Michael returned with a tin of the small cigars, “Sorry, no matches. Use the hob in the kitchen.”

  Taking the tin, Benito thanked him and followed Michael through to the kitchen. Leaning forward, he lit one of the cigars over the gas hob, inhaling deeply, drawing in the smoke and he immediately felt calmer.

  Benito turned and looked at Michael, he nodded his thanks. “I’ve not long given up!” Benito half laughed as he looked at the reddened tip of the burning cigar. “If it’s okay, I’ll drop by tomorrow morning, see how she is.” Not giving Lucy’s brother chance to disagree to his proposal, he turned and started to leave. “Are you ready?” he looked at James.

  Once in the Range Rover, Benito opened the window and held the Café Crème between his lips, holding it there as he pulled away from the kerb.

  “What are you going to do?” James asked again.

  Keeping his focus on the road, Benito took the cigar between his fingers and breathed deeply. “I like her James, I like her a lot,” he muttered, “I’ve tried my hardest to convince myself that I don’t, but I can’t. There’s just something about her, and the fact that she’s mine, completely and has only ever been mine—you know what I mean?” He frowned as he turned towards James.

  Grinning, James looked back at his friend. “Yeah, I know what you mean.” He nodded, “So, is that what makes the difference, that she was a virgin?”

  Concentrating on his driving and returning the cigar to his lips, Benito first answered with a nod and then, “Everything James. I like her because of everything. She’s sweet, she’s beautiful, she was innocent. She’s just so fresh, not like any other girl I’ve ever met before, ever.” He stopped talking for a moment, thinking about his girl. “She makes me feel alive, takes me away from my past. I suppose, well, it’s like being renewed.” He smiled as he thought of his girl.

  Laughing, James turned to look out of the passenger window, “Well, I think you’re mad, stark raving mad. But, if you like her that much, then go for it. For heaven’s sake Benito, even if it does not develop into anything further, there’s nothing to say you can’t just end it, if you need to. You don’t love her do you?”

  Shaking his head, Benito laughed, “No, never. I’ll never love anyone! You know that. I’ll never be like my dad. I never want to be carrying that burden around with me. You know, he has so many offers, ladies wanting him to escort him here and there, he never goes with them. It’s been years since he lay with a woman James—years.”

  The two travelled in silence as they motored towards the City Centre. The silence broken as Benito asked, “Reid’s or yours?”

  James smiled, “The hotel please. It’s late, and I’ve got an early start.”

  Once he’d dropped James at the hotel, Benito made his way to his apartment block, stopping on the way to pick up matches and a tin of the small cigars—he quite enjoyed them. Parking the Range Rover in the secure parking area, he was soon in the building and in his apartment, his empty apartment. God, Lucy had only been here a few weeks yet already it felt empty without her.

  Collecting a bottle of cognac and a glass from the kitchen, he took them through to his living room and, dropping onto the leather sofa, he lit up another small cigar and drew deeply, inhaling the smooth, sweet, vanilla smoke. He filled the glass to the brim with his best cognac, sat back, closing his eyes and stretching out on the sofa, he thought of Lucy—how he felt and what his father had said. No matter how much he tried to talk himself out of it, he felt a lot for her. He wanted her, he wanted her badly.

  Chapter 19

  “I feel like crap,” Lucy moaned as she lay on the bathroom floor of her brother and sister-in-laws’ home. “I think I’m going to die,” she moaned.

  “What went on?” Mikey asked as he watched over his sister on her hands and knees, heaving over the toilet.

  “He hates me Mikey,” she spluttered through tears, “he hates me so much.”

  Crouching down to Lucy’s level and looking into her pale face, blood shot eyes, hair all over the place. “I really don’t think he does Lucy, not from what I saw last night, not at all. He was truly concerned when we sat and talked, said he was coming back to see you this morning. That’s not what someone who hates you does—is it?”

  “But he does Mikey. He hates me,” Lucy whined, “he doesn’t like me at all, I heard him telling someone.”

  Shaking his head and huffing Michael stood. “Trust me Luce, what I saw last night was not someone who dislikes you at all. In fact, I would say the complete opposite. I’m going to have breakfast, do you want some.”

  Lucy returned to lying on the bathroom floor. “Leave me alone, please. Go away, let me die in peace.”

  Laughing, Michael left the bathroom. “I’ll be downstairs if you want me. Lisa’s gone to her mum’s, won’t be back until later. They’re going shopping and left me with the baby—again!”

  Waking with a stiff neck, Benito looked at his surroundings. He’d fallen asleep on the sofa. Moving himself slowly, he sat up and leant forward, resting his head in his hands. He rubbed his fingers through is hair. Lucy was the first thing that came to mind.

  Reaching for the Café Crème, he took one of the small cigars from the tin, brought it to his lips before lighting the end and drawing deeply. After a few moments, he stood and moved slowly towards the kitchen, his head banging from the volume of alcohol he had consumed. Making a cup of the instant coffee that Lucy had brought in, he took a sip of the crap tasting drink; and winced before checking his phone. There was a text message from his father.

  How are things going? How is your new girl? Are you looking after her? Remember Benito, I want grandchildren. It’s your duty!

  Shit. Benito thought, his fucking duty! Where did that come from? Why can’t Adrianna give the old man grandchildren?

  Moving onto to check his emails, he tapped away at the screen scrolling through the endless list of junk mail, punctuated by the odd message that was worth reading, including several from the office confirming new contracts. Great, things were going well with the new progressive UK operation.

  Showering and dressing in jeans and a black t-shirt he left the apartment, grabbing his leather jacket as he went. Lighting another cigar in the lift as he descended towards the ground floor, he drew deeply on the smoothness of the smoke, breaking all the no-smoking in public area rules, bloody European rules. He strolled out of the building to the Range Rover, climbing in and setting off for Lucy’s brother’s home.

  Hitting the busy traffic, he cursed himself for smoking again. It had been nearly two years since he’d lit up. In that time, he’d grown to not miss the calming feeling that smoking anything could offer. Giving himself a mental pep-talk, he told himself he needed to stop before he got hooked again.

  Stopping at a service station on route, he collected a bottle of Coke, a couple of bags of ready salted crisps and pack of paracetamol. Shaking the Coke slightly and opening it slowly to let out the fizz several times, he returned to the car. Lucy would need his hangover cure this morning.

  He spent the rest of the journey thinking of what he would say to Lucy when he got there. He’d made his mind up over night that he wanted her back. Hell, he never intended to let her go, not yet anyway; in truth, she had walked out! Yeah, following her hearing what he’d being saying, but he had no intention of finishi
ng with her yet now. Now, well he just couldn’t bring himself to spend the rest of his life with a single woman, but he could see the next few months, at the very least, with Lucy—after all, he’d claimed her, she was his—wasn’t she?

  Pulling up outside of Michael and Lisa’s home, he grabbed the components of his hangover cure and after locking the car headed off towards the house. Michael, seeing him walking up the drive, opened the door ahead of him ringing the bell or knocking the door. “Morning,” Michael greeted Benito with an outstretched hand. Accepting, Benito took the extended hand and shook Michael’s hand firmly.

  “How is she?” Benito asked.

  Michael studied the man who had, if reports were to be believed, messed his sister around and dumper her, made her homeless and jobless. The guy who stood in front of him was clearly foreign; he looked it, and had the accent to go along with it. “Come in, she’s feeling crap, but then I have no idea how much she drank. Lots, according to Lisa, who has gone to her mum’s and left me with the baby!”

  “Baby?” Benito looked horrified. There was a baby in close proximity!

  “Yeah, Lilly, my baby girl, she’s one, and having her morning nap. Fast asleep!” Michael smiled fondly as he talked about his daughter. “My son, Charlie is with Lisa and her mum. He stayed at his grandma’s last night, no doubt pumped full of chocolate and cake and running amok in some store or other now!”

  “Oh,” Benito frowned. What do you say to someone when they’re discussing their offspring? He was inwardly cringing at the thought of ankle nippers. “Where’s Lucy? Can I have a glass, and I’ll take these upstairs.”

  “Yeah. Of course, I’ll get you one, and she’s upstairs. I left her on the bathroom floor about an hour ago.”