Never Say Love Read online

  For the first time since his mother passed away, Benito felt what he assumed was sadness deep in the pit of his stomach, “You’re sure?” he asked, wanting confirmation from his darling Lucy before he left.

  Nodding her head she looked up at him the tears falling freely across her cheeks, “Yes, please go.”

  Without saying another word, he turned and headed downstairs and out of the house, this feeling, almost alien to him, eating away at his insides. Climbing in behind the wheel of the Range Rover he sat, hands on the wheel just staring through the windscreen. “What a fucking moron you’ve been!” he openly cursed himself, “you twat!”

  Driving aimlessly around, Benito called James, “Fancy a night out, playing the game?” He asked as James answered.

  Taken back by the sudden desire for his friend to hit the town, with the sole intention of picking up a woman, James initially remained silent.

  “James, are you there?” Benito asked, jabbing away at the buttons of his in car hands free system.

  “Yeah, I’m here; but why? What about Lucy, didn’t you go and see her this morning?” James sounded confused.

  “Shit James!” Benito snapped as he banged the heel of his hand on the steering wheel, “she doesn’t want me anymore. Wants nothing to do with me!” he hissed, “sent me away and you know what?” he snarled, “she can go fuck herself because I don’t care!”

  Turning the car around, his destination home, he listened to more silence as James thought carefully about his answer. The last thing he wanted to do was upset his friend further, especially whilst he was in charge of a lethal weapon, the Range Rover.

  “You don’t mean that Benito. Get yourself round here mate—come to the hotel. I’ll meet you in the bar.”

  Once he’d cleared the call, James booked a room for his friend and himself, after the drinking session he was now planning, on the hoof, there was no way either of them would be capable of going home later this evening.

  James checked his watch. God, it was only just past lunch time. He spoke with a couple of the duty managers, explained he would be out of the loop for the remainder of the day. There were no events on, but he’d be in the bar, consoling his friend with Cognac, if it really was needed.

  Once he’d made sure that everything that he needed to do was cleared, he wandered to the bar, collected a bottle of Delamain, two brandy balloons and found a quiet table where he and Benito could sit quietly, put the world to rights and, at a guess, console his friend on the loss of his presumably first love.

  Sitting down and breaking the seal on the bottle of Delamain, James waited all of ten minutes for his friend to arrive. Watching the big Italian cross the foyer of the plush hotel, James’ face dropped. Benito looked ready to kill, yet sad, a terrible look across his face, confused, hurt and angry.

  “Shit mate, what happened?” James asked as Benito approached him. Pulling out a chair Benito remained silent. Taking the bottle, he filled his and James’ brandy balloons half full before sitting back into the leather barrel chair.

  Reaching forward and lifting his glass, James studied his friend, “So what happened? I thought you were all set to join the ranks of the foolish and settle down?” he asked as he brought the glass to his lips.

  “Piss off James!” Benito snapped, glaring at his friend.

  Shaking his head and raising his free hand, James looked stunned, “Look mate, you’re the one that came bleating to me about you splitting up. I’m here to listen and offer support. /Hell Benito, I’ve taken the afternoon off! The least you can do is tell me what went on! Last night you were all set to play happy families for the rest of your natural life!” His tone became increasingly fraught as he spoke, laying down the law to the clearly disturbed Benito.

  Benito drained his glass in two swallows. Looking at James he shook his head, “Sorry mate, shouldn’t have snapped.”

  “It’s okay,” James reassured his friend, “and if you don’t want to tell me what happened, that’s fine. I take it that whatever you had with Lucy is over?”

  “Fucking hell, my dad’s going to hang me out to dry!” Benito hissed through his teeth.

  James laughed, “Look at you. You’re huge, most people would leg it, they’d run a mile if they saw you coming towards them, but you, you’re scared shitless of your dad!”

  “Fuck off!” Benito snapped at James, who sat reclined in his chair, smiling at the big man. This was going to be an afternoon of insult throwing. James shrugged his shoulders, so what, if that’s what made his friend feel better, that’s what he would do.

  “You’re a prat Benito, a prize one at that; letting the luscious Lucy escape from your clutches. Heaven knows who’ll end up with her now—probably some greasy fucker and it wouldn’t end well!”

  “James, for fuck’s sake,! She heard me talking to my dad. She heard me saying I thought she was a quick shag, but she didn’t hear the whole conversation, well she couldn’t have,” he stopped talking and filled his glass half full again, passing the bottle to James as he carried on talking, “if she’d have heard all of it, she’d have known that I was referring to my past, not how I feel now, how I feel about Lucy.” Stopping he took a long drink of his neat Cognac.

  “Do you love her?” James asked seriously.

  Benito shook his head, “I don’t do love, never have and never will!”

  James shook his head, “I know you’ve said that before, something about your mum and dad?” he asked.

  Benito looked across the foyer, lifting his drink to his lips he thought about his parents, about his mum passing and his dad’s vow to never love again. Closing his eyes and breathing deeply, he spoke, unable to face James as he talked of his fears.

  “When mum died, it hurt us all bad. Dad, Adrianna and me. She was our rock, you know James, always there, the centre of our universe, for all of us. It killed dad. Inside, he had to learn how to be mum and dad. Adrianna was young. I remember him sitting down with her and trying his best to tell her what it would be like, to be a woman, what would happen to her,” he stopped talking and laughed to himself, “Of course, he had no fucking idea. But losing mum killed my dad. He worshipped the ground she walked on. She was his everything. He’d go away, and he’d return to a woman who probably hadn’t slept well for days, for weeks, they were so much in love.” Benito took another deep drink before carrying on.

  “When we had mum’s funeral, he stood there, in front of his closest friends, toasted mum and said he would never take another woman; that the only person he would ever lay with would be Sophia, my mum—in life and in death.”

  James quietly listened as Benito spoke aloud about his fears, his reasons for never wanting to settle down. After a few moments, he spoke, “But Benny mate, I thought you were happy with Lucy.”

  “For fuck’s sake, James, don’t call me that! And yes, I thought we were happy. She told me she loved me, yet I couldn’t tell her; I felt something, I don’t know if it was love, or not, but I felt something—you know, here…” he placed his hand on his stomach and turned towards his friend, “Just here,” he punched as James flinched, watching his friend in self destruct mode.

  They spent the rest of the afternoon sat at the same table in the corner of the bar, saying very little to each other—James happy to support Benito through the trauma of losing the first person, other than his mother, that he had ever cared about. As the afternoon moved on, their glasses of Cognac became punctuated by the odd Coke and Peroni. By eight in the evening, they were both wasted, each of them swaying towards the lift and to the rooms that James had secured for them. Walking along the corridor to their rooms, the two young men agreed to spend the next evening at Henry’s. Benito was desperate to find solace in the arms of a young woman, one that he could find through playing the entertainment game and say farewell to the following morning.

  Whilst James slept well, although waking with a throbbing head, Benito had a restless night. Lucy was creeping into his mind. The moment he felt himself d
rifting off to sleep, his thoughts keeping him awake—Lucy in that toilet, that guy ready to take advantage of her. He had to get her back, and soon.

  Lying in his hotel bed, through the stupor, he started to mentally plan how he would win Lucy back. He’d start tomorrow, He wouldn’t go out to play tomorrow night; instead he’d follow his father’s advice. He would woo her, starting with something special, delivered to her tomorrow morning.

  Chapter 20

  Meeting James for breakfast, both men suffering with intolerable headaches, they sat opposite each other sipping at the hot black coffee served to them. Toast was delivered, yet pushed aside by both men, each of them preferring paracetamol and orange juice.

  “So what are you going to do about Lucy?” James croaked as he sipped his juice.

  Benito shook his head. “I want her back,” he mumbled, lifting his coffee cup to his lips.

  Conscious that he was wearing yesterday’s clothes, he looked down at the jeans and grey t-shirt. “I need to go home and get changed, swing by the office and then arrange some things for Lucy, flowers or something.”

  James shook his head, looking at his friend. Benito had it bad.

  “What happened to no commitment?” James asked.

  Glaring at his friend, Benito snapped, “Fuck off James.”

  “Only saying,” the curly haired hotel manager smiled and laughed. “What did happen to no commitment?”

  Benito shook his head, “I have no idea, but Lucy’s different, not least because I was her first. She’s mine, and I want her back. I nearly always get what I want.”

  James watched his friend. The hard, determined look on his face, James knew he would set out to get what he wanted, and would more than likely get it.

  Finishing their breakfast, or coffee and painkillers as it turned out to be, both men went their separate ways. James made his way to his office on the fourth floor, his head in his hands and yesterday’s clothes on his back. Benito’s first stop was also to his office where he checked that all was okay before heading to see Lucy at Michaels, via a florist.

  Chapter 21

  Pulling onto the driveway of the suburban home, Benito collected the extra large bouquet of roses from the back of his Range Rover. Checking that his appearance was as good as it could be in the wing mirror, he made his way to the front door, took a few deep breaths, his speech for Lucy running through his mind again, before ringing the bell.

  After only a few moments Lisa answered. “Oh, it’s you! I thought we’d seen the last of you!” She snapped as she stood there, a baby girl on her hip and her toddler holding on to her hand by her side.

  Fighting the urge to snap back, Benito said quietly, “Is Lucy in?”

  “No, she’s gone to work. A new job with her dad. She lost the job that you gave her!” She hissed. “After you used her! Remember, a quick shag and throw them out! You’re nothing more than…” she stopped, fearful of what she would say and not wanting to antagonise this huge man, especially in front of her children. “She’s not here.” She said firmly, “and truthfully I really don’t think she wants to see you again.”

  Standing with the bouquet, Benito felt lost, for the first time in all of his life. “Give these to her, please. Tell her that I am sorry, I never meant for her to hear what she did, and honestly she did catch just part of the conversation. If she’d have heard all of it, well she would have heard differently.”

  Lisa looked at the man on her doorstep, he did look genuine. She’d always regarded herself as a good judge of character; indeed during her life she’d rarely judged anyone wrong and, he’d given them a lift home after Lucy had got herself wasted, there had been no funny business, he’d even dealt, swiftly and effectively, with the creep that had her young sister-in-law penned in the loo. Lisa’s thoughts rushed at a hundred miles an hour as she pieced all of the information together—what she knew and what Michael had told her.

  Looking at Benito with a forlorn look on his face, so desperate to reconnect with Lucy, she took a gamble. “Wait here, I’ll get the details of where she’s working. Take those,” she nodded towards the huge bouquet, “to her, make an impression; you may just win her back. She does think a lot of you. You know that, don’t you?”

  Nodding sheepishly, Benito waited, leaning against the side of the house, conscious that he looked a little conspicuous, the leather jacket and jeans didn’t really go with the flowers he was holding!

  After only a moment or two, Lisa returned with a piece of note paper, the address of her father-in-law’s employer written down. “Do your best!” She smiled at him as he took the paper, smiling his response.

  Checking the scribbled note and setting the address into his navigation, Benito headed for Lucy’s new employer. He arrived at his destination a short time later at a run-of-the-mill office block.

  Pulling into one of the spaces marked visitor, he made his way to reception and stood in front of the large desk waiting to be attended to by a young woman who had a telephone to her ear.

  Clearing the call, she looked at the tall, devastatingly handsome man before her. God, he looked positively delicious.

  “Hello,” she purred, “Can I help you?”

  Smiling, and piling on the charm, he moved towards the desk. “I’d like to see Lucy Wilson-Hawley.”

  “Oh, sorry, I’ve not heard of that name. Just let me check.” She smiled broadly at him before tapping away at her computer screen.

  “She only started here today,” Benito added, “I need to see her right away.”

  “Do you know where she’s working?” The receptionist asked, still grinning and starting to feel just a little warm in this gorgeous man’s presence.

  Shaking his head and turning his attention to the promotional posters dotted around the walls, he answered flippantly, his back to the woman, “Sorry, I think dispatching was mentioned.”

  As he waited, he heard the receptionist phone a colleague and ask about Lucy’s whereabouts, turning towards her as she cleared the call.

  “She’s on her way through, do you want to sit whilst you wait?”

  “No, I’m fine, thanks.” Glancing down at the huge bouquet, he started to feel warm, desperate to hold Lucy in his arms, to feel her small frame against him, to protect her, to claim her again.

  While standing, he focussed on the only other door into the reception area, the door where his Lucy would surely emerge from. Starting to pace, he was conscious of the receptionist gazing him, smiling at him sweetly, dreading that she would want to engage into discussion with him, praying that she’d keep her mouth shut.

  Focussed on that door, he was put out of his misery in just a few minutes as his Lucy emerged.

  Her face looked bright and cheery, the red, blood-shot eyes gone, the blotchy pallor to her skin subsided, yet there was no smile.

  “Hello,” she said politely.

  “Lucy, can we talk?” he glanced sideways to the receptionist who had her chin in her hands, looking at him dreamily, “Outside please,” he looked back at his girl.

  Shrugging her shoulders at him, she looked up at the man she had missed so much over the last couple of days. “Sure, but it will have to be quick, I’m supposed to be working.”

  She walked towards the front door of the building, Benito behind her, his big arm stretching around her and holding the door open.

  Once they were stood outside the office block, he turned towards her. “I am so sorry,” he said, thrusting the bouquet towards her, “will you ever have me back Lucy? I really mean it when I say that you came in on part of the conversation that you shouldn’t have heard, honestly. On my mother’s grave, I didn’t mean for you to hear any of that, and, I wish…” he was stopped speaking as Lucy’s forefinger pressed against his lips.

  “I’m sorry too Benito, I’ve missed you so much.” She turned away as tears pricked her eyes, taking a few deep breaths and bringing her emotions into check, she turned back to him, “Yes, I will come back, but you have to promise me t
hat I’m more than a quick lay, more than just a one night stand!” Looking up to him, she pleaded with her eyes, her look emphasising her words.

  “Oh, tesoro, of course. Oh Lucy, please come home.”

  Smelling the roses and then smiling at him, “I will, but you have to promise me that I am more than a quick shag. Benito, I know this, whatever it is, relationship or whatever, may not last forever, may never last any more than a few months. I will never be easy, you know that, don’t you? I don’t want to earn that reputation, it’s not me.”

  Pulling her into a hug, resting his chin on the top of her head, “Lucy, you’ll never be easy. You’re too special, and no, you’re not a quick shag, you never have been and I doubt you ever will be.”

  Feeling warm and protected against his broad chest, Lucy whispered, “I love you, you know that.”

  “Umm,” he replied, unable to form the words. “Go get your stuff, I’m taking you home.”

  Standing back, she looked horrified at him, “My dad got me this job, I can’t just walk out. I have to finish the day!”

  Not wanting to cause any more upset, hurt or trauma, Benito agreed to collect her at five, the end of her day. Leaving her with the most delicious kiss, a kiss that set her insides and her nether regions alight, making her feel desperate to be touched, they said good bye until later in the day.

  Benito sat in his car as he watched her disappear back into the office. Smiling to himself, he decided he would head home, change and come back to collect his girl when she finished, then spend all night in bed with Lucy!

  At five o’clock prompt, he arrived at Lucy’s new workplace, he pulled into the same parking space as he’d used earlier and waited, not for long, for her to appear.