Never Say Love Page 11

  Consumed by the moment, unable to hold off any longer, Benito found himself releasing, spilling his seed in her. “Fucking hell,” he grumbled as he did.

  Chapter 13

  The next few weeks passed quickly. They found they worked well together, the buzz between them spilling over into their working life. Lucy felt as though she could read him and predict his next instruction. She was a quick learner and very efficient, having paperwork and figures ready for him before he’d asked. This working relationship—this relationship has potential Benito thought.

  Still staying at his apartment, when they weren’t at the office, she felt as though fate had flung them together, that her destiny had been Benito, to save herself for him. He, on the other hand, felt as though he was travelling a sixty mile an hour roller coaster, unable to get off, drawn in by this woman who seemed to have him wrapped around her little finger. He wasn’t a religious man, yet he was convinced that there was a higher force at work. No matter how much he tried to dispel these feelings, he was adamant that his mother, Sophia, was controlling this situation. After all, it was the sort of thing she would have done, if she were still with them.

  They pulled up outside the building early one morning and made their way to their respective offices.

  Their usual morning routine now established, Lucy making them both a drink and taking Benito’s through to him. Standing at the entrance to his office, she saw her lover, hands firmly resting on his desk glancing towards a large envelope. On seeing her in his doorway, he scooped the envelope into his desk drawer before looking up and smiling at his Lucy.

  Sensing that something was not quite right and after placing his coffee on his desk, she looked directly at him, “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” he snapped, “Everything’s fine tesoro, nothing for you to worry about, it’s all fine.” He spoke quietly, a concerned look on his face. “Do you want to have lunch today?” he asked quickly, changing the subject.

  “Yes, let me know when.” She turned and left his office, making her way downstairs to her own room, with the plan to try and get an hour’s work done before her team of incredibly efficient staff arrived, most of which were her old colleagues and friends from her previous job.

  Carrying on the walk to her own office, Lucy checked her phone, reading through one or two messages before sitting down at her desk, a pile of paperwork in front of her and a list of jobs that needed doing. The team slowly arriving, one by one, greeting her with “Morning Lucy,”

  “Hi Katie, did you have a good night?” Lucy called out with her head down. The staff that worked with gave her no worries, they were all super efficient.

  The girls arrived and after the initial morning buzz had settled, they all set about their individual tasks, the office running like a well-oiled machine.

  Mid-morning, the post arrived and, as usual, Katie opened everything that wasn’t marked private and confidential. Opening the envelopes and packages one by one, she stacked the mail into the departmental trays, invoices for the accounts team, general mail to be screened by Lucy before either being distributed to other team members or taken to Benito.

  “Shit,” she yelled, sitting back from her desk, her hand over her mouth she heaved as the smell of rancid food filled the office. “Lucy, come here!” she called, standing and stepping away from her desk. The rest of the team also standing and moving away to the edge of the room as the putrid smell filled the air.

  One of the other girls opened a window as they all stood away from the foul smelling package.

  Leaving her office and walking out, Lucy also threw her hand to her face, she noticed spilled out on Katie’s desk was what looked like a heart, many days old. A folded piece of paper lay sodden with the decaying slime and blood, squashed to the top of the mess.

  “Don’t touch it. I’ll call Benito,” Lucy said walking back to her office and opening her own window.

  Using the internal telephone on her desk she called her lover, her boss, asking him to come down straight away before returning to Katie’s desk, the rotten organ still placed in the middle.

  Standing around the disgusting looking package, the girls waited for their amazingly handsome boss to appear, all secretly jealous of Lucy being his girlfriend and living with him.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked as he entered the office before the smell hit him.

  “This,” Lucy pointed to the package as he approached it.

  Standing back as the smell filled his nostrils. “Fuck, what is it?”

  “A heart!” Lucy snapped, “What do you think it is? I think that there is a note on top, but it’s all mashed down.”

  Peeling the sheet of paper off the foul smelling offal, Benito carried it outside, laying the paper down on the floor, Lucy behind him as he went. Bending over the paper, he could just make out the words:

  You’ve been warned once, back off our patch! Fuck off back to Italy.

  “Who’s it from?” Lucy asked quietly.

  “I have no idea, but I will find out.” Turning, he walked straight past her, “have one of the guys in the accounts team sort this mess out, make sure the girls are okay? Take them for lunch or something, do whatever, but don’t let them go into panic mode, okay?” He issued his order to Lucy.

  Nodding, she looked at him, his face hard, not like the Benito she’d come to know so well, like the man she’d begun to love. “Fine,” she said softly.

  Turning towards her, shaking his head. “Come here tesoro,” he opened his arms as she stepped into a hug. Holding her close, he rested his chin on the top of her head. “I don’t want you to move out, not just yet, okay?”

  “Why?”

  “Lucy, please, just not yet!” Pulling away from her, he looked serious.

  Stunned by his proclamation, she shook her head. “As long as you’re sure.”

  “Lucy. I am so very sure. I don’t want you moving out just yet. Now, go and get someone to sort this mess out, take the girls for lunch.” Peeling off a handful of twenties from his roll he handed them to her. “Let them have a little longer if needed.”

  Smiling, she took the cash and went straight through to the accounts team, arranged for one of the older guys to clear the mess up before telling the girls in her office that lunch would be on Benito.

  After the gossip surrounding the morning’s excitement and activity, the girls and Lucy walked to the pub at the end of the road, each of them ordering food from the bar and, at Benito’s insistence, having a proper drink each—the bill being picked up by Lucy at the end of their break. Benito often treated the girls in the office to lunch. This was not unusual, but to insist that they have a proper drink if they wanted, this certainly was a time for one. As Lucy watched Katie and the rest of her team indulge in a glass of wine, she couldn’t help but feel that something was amiss, something was going on. The way he’d hastily cleared that envelope from his desk this morning and then that horrendous delivery.

  On their return to the office, the afternoon seemed to slowly pass; work became laborious for Lucy as she watched the minutes and the hours pass, the events of the morning playing over at the back of her mind.

  Towards the end of the afternoon, she took a pile of papers to Benito’s office; there were invoices that needed signing off, as well as contracts and quotations that needed his signature.

  As she approached the open door to his office, she heard him on the telephone, his back towards her looking out of the window, one hand holding the phone to his ear and the other in the pocket of his black trousers. Even from the back and fully dressed, he looked, well impressive and very, very sexy. Lucy smiled to herself, as she often did, just looking at him made her feel happy, made her insides flip.

  As she stood, watching him from a distance, she was approached by one of the junior office staff, waving a document around, wanting Lucy to go through the details with her. Giving her attention to the junior member of staff, she was drawn momentarily from Benito’s conversation. He too was u
naware that Lucy was waiting for him, he continued talking.

  “So that was it, a bloody heart in a bag.” She heard him say, unaware of who he was talking to.

  There was silence, the other person clearly talking to him.

  “Not really, just someone I took out a few times, that’s all.” He laughed.

  She stood, listening to the conversation, him still unaware that she was there waiting for him, in the doorway. The silence clearly indicated that he was again listening to the person at the other end of the call.

  “It’s complicated, I sort of helped her… I don’t know.” Benito added.

  Having dealt with the junior team member, Lucy moved closer to Benito’s open office door.

  She watched as he moved nearer to the window, still not knowing that she stood, listening to him. “She said this, she said that. Well Adrianna doesn’t know me, does she? Before, I didn’t want a woman in my life permanently, never, but now... I used to be happy with a quick shag here and there, come on, you know what I’m like. There was a time when I had no need for anyone, or at least I thought I didn’t. I have no idea what’s happening, and I don’t even know if I like it, really I don’t. It feels right but wrong on so many levels. I don’t know what to think, I really don’t. I don’t even know if Lucy is the one! Hell, she’s probably just a quick lay over a few days,” he laughed, “I don’t know if I want anyone in my life! It was only supposed to be a quickie, maybe it will be—I don’t know if I can handle any more than that!”

  Rubbing his hands through his hair, Benito turned and stopped as he levelled his gaze at Lucy, face to face. “Shit,” he whispered as he looked at a distraught Lucy in his doorway. “Fuck! Got to go. I’ll call you back.” He cut the call and just looked at her tear-filled eyes.

  “So you don’t know if I’m the one? Is that all I was, a quick shag? No need for anyone in your life? Well, I hope you were satisfied? I hope I was worth it.” She wiped her eye with the back of her hand. “I knew it wouldn’t last forever. You are much too good for me, but I expected a little more than a few weeks, and even if I didn’t last any longer, I hoped you would have been a little more respectful!” She snapped, “You’re just like the rest, only after one thing.” Hissing, refusing to raise her voice despite her fury and hurt she kept her cool, stayed in control. “The only difference is Benito, you were the first one to actually get it, but no more. You can stick your job where the sun don’t shine buddy, I’m off. Find some other mug to lay down for you.”

  Throwing the large stack of papers in the air, she turned and strode down the corridor to her own office. Having not personalised anything within the large space, she grabbed her handbag and jacket before throwing her security badge and office keys on the desk.

  Leaving her office, fighting back the tears, she marched past her colleagues and friends not saying a word. Her departure was so quick Benito was still fighting with the messed up paperwork by the time she stepped out onto the footpath, walked to the corner of the road and a hailing cab.

  As the tears started to win their battle for freedom, the deluge that threatened at any moment to burst, she gave the driver instructions to take her to her parents’ home.

  As the cab pulled away, she reached for her phone, calling the only person in the world she could really trust—her dad.

  “How’s my baby girl?” he answered.

  “I need somewhere to stay dad, can I come home for a few days?” she managed to get out between sobs.

  “Of course you can Lucy. What’s wrong?” Her dad listened to the quiet sobs. “Oh Lucy, please don’t cry honey. Do you want me to come and pick you up?” He asked, sounding so concerned that his precious daughter was clearly distraught. She never called her parents for anything, the fact that she had was an indicator that something was clearly wrong.

  “No, I’m in a cab, I’ll be home soon, can you let mum know.”

  “Yes, I’ll call her now, tell her to expect you. How long will you be love, an hour?” Her dad sounded sympathetic as he spoke.

  “No, more like half an hour.”

  She heard her dad sigh, “I’m your dad Lucy, and you don’t have to ask to come home. You remember the day you left; I told you the door would always be open.” He said firmly.

  “Thanks dad, I love you.”

  Clearing the call, she sat back in the seat, letting the tears fall, wiping her face with the back of her hand.

  As the cab trundled along, her mobile started to ring, a withheld number, without thinking she accepted the call, answering through the tears. “Hello.”

  “Lucy, it’s James.” He spoke softly.

  “What do you want? Go away and leave me alone.” She sobbed.

  “Lucy, sweetheart, just talk to me, just listen, please.” He begged, not waiting for her to reply, insisting that she listened to him, “Benito phoned. He’s all over the place.”

  “Good,” she snapped.

  “He didn’t mean for you to hear any of that”.

  “Too late, I’m on the way back to my mum and dad’s.”

  “He asked me to beg you to go back to him, please.” James pleaded, “Please Lucy, he really wants to talk to you.”

  “You’ve got to be bloody joking. I am not a quick shag. He told whoever he was talking to that he didn’t want a relationship. I never want to see him again as long as I live, he’s a bastard. I didn’t expect what we had to last forever, but I at least expected to be let down face to face, not to hear him discussing me with someone else.” Unable to stop the tears she sobbed. “Tell him to go to hell.”

  “Lucy, sweetheart,” James said quietly, “please.”

  “Go away James.” She snapped before taking several deep breaths, she did her level best to compose herself.

  “Lucy, please just talk to me, please.” He sounded so sincere as he spoke, his deep, soft voice, not unlike Benito’s but without the accent.

  “James, he referred to me as a quick shag! You do know he was my first!”

  “Oh shit!” she heard James huff.

  “He’s a bastard James. He should never have done it. I didn’t expect it to last long, but I never expected to be told like that.”

  James didn’t reply. What could he say, the girl was right. He would never refer to any of his ladies as “a quick shag”, certainly not when they may hear it anyway. “Where are you going?”

  “I’ve told you!” She snapped, “home, to mum and dad’s.” Reaching for a tissue from her bag she wiped her eyes again. “I’ve already called my dad.” She sobbed again. “I’ve given up my job, my home, everything for him. I’ve been such a bloody fool, giving everything up so quickly. My old boss might take me back.”

  James shook his head as he listened, “No Lucy, don’t go back there, please.”

  “Why?”

  He sighed, and breathed deeply before answering, “Because Benito had Lee and Jake go in. They told him what they thought of letches.”

  “So he’s ruined that for me as well has he?” Now feeling furious as the cab pulled up outside her parents, she grabbed her bag and flung some of Benito’s change from lunchtime at the driver as she climbed out onto the footpath. Her phone to her ear as she walked the length of her parents driveway she yelled, “Tell him he’s a fucking bastard of the first order and I never, ever want to see him again.”

  James breathed deeply as he heard her, a mix of sobbing, fear and anger.

  “I’ll tell him Lucy.”

  At that, she cleared the call.

  Chapter 14

  Benito quickly left the office telling the staff that he probably wouldn’t be back. He legged it down the stairs to his car. Climbing in quickly, he pulled onto the busy London roads. The traffic seemed to have built up since he arrived earlier today making the journey to his apartment take longer than normal.

  Pulling up at the kerb, he raced inside the building, straight to the lift and up to his apartment. Charging through, he ran straight to the wardrobe—all her clothes remai
ned, she hadn’t been back here.

  Feeling wrecked, he sat on the edge of the bed, head in his hand. What the hell had he done?

  Did James speak with her?

  Reaching for his phone he called James. “I tried mate,” came the reply, “talked to her but you’ve really upset her. Sobbed her bloody heart out you bastard. What did you do?”

  “Fuck off James. I know what I did.” Benito yelled.

  “Well you’ve done a good job on her! I bet she’ll never have a bloke again. You’ve ruined her in what, a few weeks? You should never have gone with her to start off with. She, she is too nice. As for taking her innocence, you’re no better than that bloke you…”

  “Piss off.” Benito snapped again.

  “Fine, you’re on your own mate!” James hissed.

  “Where’s she gone?” Benito asked.

  “I thought you didn’t want my help!” James retorted.

  “Oh, hell Aconi, where the fuck has she gone?”

  “She’s gone to her parents and was on about going back to work for the letch.”

  “Fucking hell!” Benito hissed.

  “Yeah, that just about sums it up. Great job you did Benny boy.”

  “Don’t call me that!”

  “Well it’s what you deserve. Now, if I were you, if you really, really like her, I’d be going to the ends of the earth to get her back. She’s a pretty girl, Franco would approve. But if you’re not committed, I’d leave well alone, let her lick her wounds and get over you. I’ve got to go.” He hung up leaving Benito with his thoughts.

  Lying back on the bed, the last few weeks ran through his mind. He liked her, hell he liked her a lot, but didn’t want to fall for someone so much that he couldn’t live without them. Standing, he walked to the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of Armagnac, flicked on the TV and downed what was left in the bottle. Once it was empty, he staggered back to his room, crashing on his bed, wrecked.